Becoming a Substitute Teacher: Part 1

I decided the best way to see what’s actually happening in schools is to go see it for myself. I have zero experience with children and consider myself to be a poor teacher but why not check it out? I figured the worst that could happen is I get shot, assaulted, or fired but those are all low probability events.

Phase 1 - Getting Substitute Teacher Certification

• Fill out basic personal information form and provide college transcript
• Get fingerprints taken for a background check
• Do a 10 minute async video interview
• Receive your certification

Phase 2 - Actually Being Able to Substitute

• Pick a school district
• Fill out personal information forms online again
• Get your fingerprints taken again at district HQ (⬅️ current step)
• Return to district HQ, sign more physical forms, get your Employee ID badge
• Onboard onto the district’s systems
• Complete two async teacher onboarding sections about classroom management and district policies (15 min each)
• Sign up for a class to substitute
• Show up to substitute teach

I completed Phase 1 in about two weeks. The video interview was nerve racking simply because I was answering questions about things I have no experience with: “How would you handle it if someone was distracting in class?” ChatGPT helped me with some of the answers. “Refer to the school discipline matrix. Ask for help from another teacher.” 😂 My friend said I could’ve said nearly anything and still been accepted. If I were the hiring manager, I would not have hired me based on my answers.

Now I’m midway through Phase 2.

Here’s my experience getting my fingerprints (the 2nd time):

I walk into the district headquarters on time for my 10am fingerprint appointment. I stop at one of the several giant signs that says to check-in via QR code before proceeding to the front desk. The person at the front desk calls me up citing that they’re no longer doing that check-in process. I mentally make the first tally for a failed process out of the chutes. She checks me in. I take a seat.

Six armed police officers are dispersed around the lobby. It’s intimidating but I feel the urge to talk to them and ask how their day is going. I decide to do so afterwards, assuming I’d be called soon.

There’s a school connected to the HQ that apparently doesn’t have class on Fridays (today). The lobby is quiet except for a group of women waiting for a tour. I overhear someone say “I just want to chill. I’m an introvert. If I talk to too many people I get cranky!” They eventually transition through the metal detectors which whine and no one looks up. Another group passes through. The detectors whine. Business as usual. I wonder why there are 6 officers guarding an empty school … but I guess district admins need security as well or perhaps they’re paid on a normal salary and it’s separate from the actual school schedule?

It’s 10:24am and I’ve heard from no one. I return to the front desk and politely ask if I’m following the right process. The woman nods and says I will be called up soon. I sit back down. 10:30am rolls around and they are ready for me.

I am led to a windowless, standard security room about 12 feet wide with fluorescent lighting. Old computers. Old software. An old webcam setup. One desk. Classic IT. He begins filling out various forms on physical paper, then takes my ID and types the same information into some sort of CRM software that looks like it’s from the early 2000s. He asks me to check if the info is correct. This is the 3rd time thus far in the process that I’ve provided my information. We do my fingerprints.

Greg seems like a nice guy, so I make conversation. He’s been with the district for 20 years and used to do patrol around the schools. When I asked whether transitioning to this role was natural career progression he replied “Oh no… haha. Parents and those kids are CRAZY. I had to get out.” An interesting, albeit honest comment to make with someone there to substitute teach.

He completes the paperwork and types a few more things into the computer. The process is completed in 10 minutes, but I was there for 20 extra on the frontend and also have to come back separately in a week to get my badge because there are physical paper forms I have to sign upstairs but they need time to process the second background check first.

A woman walks in with a bag of candy and says “I got your favorite!” and hands over a king-sized Almond Joy to Greg. I thank him for his time, make eye contact with a few officers on my way through the lobby and say “thank you for what you do” with a nod and leave the building at 10:45am.

Fingerprint Round 2 ✅

Next Step: Employee ID Badge