My Second Day Substitute Teaching

The start of the day

The front doors were locked despite people milling around everywhere. Students streamed around the back of the building and I chose to follow the pack. A few talked but it was mostly a quiet migration. One kid told me he liked music. We threaded into the cafeteria. I felt a small shred of terror being in a giant cafeteria that felt like a compilation of Save the Last Dance and Mean Girls.

I found my way to the front office which was next to the locked front doors. Security is likely the reason for that process but 🤷‍♀️. Collecting my sub packet, it turned out that Computers actually meant I was subbing for a video production class.

Fortunately, I minored in Film Studies in college (tried to double major but I couldn’t power through a required Indigenous Central American Film class and bailed). I figured if I got desperate I could try to wow them with my glamorous Hollywood past interning for the producers of Breaking Bad in Los Angeles during two summers in college. I’d leave out that the job was rolling calls and binding scripts, unpaid 😂.

The whole place was so rickety.

I wasn't surprised, but I’m used to a well-lit, airy, open, tech office that rents plants and pays a service to water them so the contrast was especially shocking. This place was sweaty, unwelcoming, and honestly harrowing despite being one of the main schools in the city. Drapes were down on most of the windows. I now realize that’s because it causes glare on screens. Thus, schools have windows but are essentially windowless.

The classroom for the day had a triple stacked technology iteration: whiteboard, covered by projector, covered by TV. The opposite wall had paper taped over a chalkboard otherwise it would’ve been a quadruple stacker. Bins of film equipment, cubbies with Nikon cameras, and a few desktop Macs told me this was a dedicated room. I was pleasantly surprised with what they had available considering the general vibe of the building.

Attendance was absurdly bad.

I took it on paper again. The first class had 24 students. 10 came in on time. 5 came in 5+ minutes late. 3 came in 20+ late. The rest never showed up. It was slightly better in the later classes but still surprising. Some random students came into class to talk to their friends for a while until I realized they weren’t late … they weren’t in the class.

“Hello class, I’m your substitute, Murph.”

I like public speaking but the formal intro felt so unnatural. In my opinion, addressing a teacher as “Mr. or Ms. {name}” is respectful. However, I’m in my early 30s and customer service agents are the only people who address me formally. When I attempted it the first day, the announcements came on through the PA at the same instant and it was a fail.

I told them that I had worked in the film industry and was happy to help. I told them if we powered through the “warmup” the teacher had then they had time to work on their projects. I tried to make eye contact and have stature but be approachable. The warmup was watching a short film.

I announced, “This film is honestly super weird … it’s worth paying attention so let’s ditch the phones for 10 min then you can work on your projects however you like!” A kid coming in late walked by and said, “I wouldn’t bother. They’re not going to listen.” He plopped down and pulled out his phone.

Dear Lord, please make the cell phones go away 🙏

Almost every kid was on their phone. ALL. THE. TIME. When I would approach a student to put their phone away, they would either put it in their bag and pull it back out the second I turned around or just not respond. A girl with pink hair who came in late and insisted her name was “Bad Biddy” legitimately ignored my personal request to have her put her phone away and kept scrolling on it as I talked to her. Infuriating.

Apparently at this school, you’re not really allowed to take their phone away. The classroom had a piece of fabric with numbered pockets hung up but when I asked other teachers later whether it was a school practice, they said, “Some try but since not all try and it’s not a school policy there’s not much we can do.” and “We lost a lot of ground from COVID.” and “The parents demand they have their phones for safety reasons.” Most are on TikTok, Snapchat, or Instagram. Others are texting friends. Some are legit watching movies. They didn’t try to hide it.

I’d say +40% of the class also came in wearing headphones. AirPods, or over-ear. They were dumbfounded when I asked them to stop wearing them. It seemed like very normal behavior for them. They came in wearing them and looked surprised when I asked for them to be removed.

This was honestly insane to me. It was an elective and I was a sub and it was still absolutely wild. How could any human learn anything from a class staring at their phone with headphones on? I initially thought that boring content was the cause of the phones but it’s definitely not just that. The idea of school as day care was obviously present the whole day.

I resorted to bribery. 😬

Fostering intrinsic motivation is critical for developing a love of learning. Science says this. I know this … but was desperate and totally unqualified, and a teacher on my first sub day said to have candy for use in desperate situations.

The kids were not responding to my attempts to get them to focus. I decided to press play on the TV remote, put a chair in the middle-back of the room, and watch the short film myself. Some saw that and started watching. Many still didn’t. After it was over I asked what people thought. No one was listening. I said, “I’ll give anyone who has anything to say about this film a piece of candy.” Ears perk. Kids start throwing out low effort responses: “It was weird.” … “Disturbing.” … I nod and encourage them to say more “What do you think the story was?” …“Who do you think the guy on the horse was?” Some made an effort. Candies fly. A group of guys mischievously repeated the exact thing someone said before them. I called them out saying I saw them not watching at all and they groaned and laughed and pleaded. This slightly empowered me by gaining any level of order and quickly led to a public failure.

“Bad Biddy” unexpectedly chimed in.

• Without looking up from her phone, she said: “I thought it was disturbing.”
• Annoyed, I reactively threw out: “Nah, don’t BS me, You didn’t watch it. Not falling for it.”
• She got heated, and replied “You don’t know me! Don’t speak to me like that. You don’t know shit about me bitch!”
• I backpedaled: “Wow. You know, my tone wasn't great … you weren’t watching the film though.” Silence. I cave. “But thanks for trying to participate.”
• I threw her candy. It skidded across the table onto the floor. She kicked it away.

Yikes. My comment and tone honestly weren't necessary. She was unacceptably disrespectful. I got way too casual. I totally wimped out and honestly was frightened I would get assaulted just based on things I’d seen on Twitter. I was totally unprepared for the situation. I was disappointed in myself.

Few people took advantage of project work time.

I’d say about 40% of them did any form of work on their project at all. A few talked. One girl had a very low cut shirt on and the guys were all about it. Other girls were watching makeup videos and applying makeup with their phone on selfie mode. One girl asked if she could go into the hall to spray on her “body scent”. I was surprised she asked.

I remember procrastinating during project time in school so this wasn’t that surprising to me and I didn’t judge them for it. I used the time to talk to every kid 1:1 and just like my first experience they really did light up most of the time. People told me where they were from. They told what languages they spoke. I asked about the projects they were working on. They cautiously were open to showing me their project. I helped a few of them with questions. I encouraged them to be creative. In general, they seemed bored and tired.

Student Comment Highlights

• “I like videos about homicide.”
• “I’m good at stalking people.”
• “There was just a fight downstairs! Want to see?” Proceeds to show me a SnapChat video of two girls on the ground in a catfight while spectators film instead of pulling them apart.
• “You’re a chill sub. You’re a cool chick.”
• “That kid should be in special ed.”

Takeaways

• One on one conversations were great again.
• I deeply wanted to make the class interesting and see even one kid excited about something.
• I tried too hard to be casual. I played a Kendrick Lamar music video to establish relevance and shut it off when a stripper pole scene started. Although, “Bad Biddy” liked that I played it so I guess we’re on good terms now.
• It was babysitting. It was all babysitting. The kids who want to try got ignored while I tried to wrangle those misbehaving. It was sad. A waste of time for all.
• I walked in assuming the content was worthy. This is likely because I'm a product of the system where you don't question the validity of the curriculum. This caused me to instantly be confused why students weren't paying attention. Their behavior was terrible either way but I need to think more about why.
• If I could barely get any class participation in a film class, I can’t imagine attempting to teach Math or English.
• I cannot believe it’s legal for me to be in charge of these kids with zero experience or training or anything whatsoever. It seems to exacerbate how brutal teaching is and makes it less likely I’d want to return.
• I will return but I can’t say I’m looking forward to it.
• It's hard to not have confirmation bias, but I'm dedicated to being as objective as possible.